Nov. 9, 2016: Post Elections

            It's the morning after the elections, and as though Trump had not won, the sun is shining brightly here on the mountain. Nevertheless, it's a bleak day for America.

            Driving to Mike's house last night after yoga, when some election results were beginning to come in, I was too nervous to listen to the radio. But I couldn't not listen, either. I kept turning the radio on, turning it off in a fit of anxiety, turning it on again.

            Mike was watching the returns on TV when I came in. I covered my ears and turned my back and said he could watch if he wanted to, but it made me too nervous, so I would go into the bedroom and read a book. Mike turned off the TV, and we talked of other things for half an hour. He offered me a late dinner, but I was too nervous to eat. I went into the bedroom and read and tried not to think about the fate of the country being decided in the next room.

            Mike came in after midnight.

            "It's not good," he said. 

            And the world turned black. Like when Christ died.

           Our beautiful country. Our clean air and national parks and protections for endangered species. Health care for the poor. Attempts to stop global warming. We listed things, not all at once, like that, but one by one, in spurts of anxiety and fear. The Supreme Court. Abortion rights. Immigrant discrimination. Racial discrimination. Gender discrimination. Anti-Semitism. I trembled and trembled. I cried. 

          When I grew calm, I was restless. I had to do something. I thought about taking a walk, but I didn't have clothes for a walk in the cold night air. I certainly didn't want to watch television. So I said, "Let's get up and make pancakes."

            So we made pancakes at 1:30 a.m. on the worst night of the year – or of the century – and ate them by candlelight with yogurt and fruit salad.

        This morning I woke up feeling the urgency of conveying two messages. The first is to President Obama: "Thank you for being a person with dignity and humor and for leading us through difficult times with carefully reasoned decisions."

            The second is to Trump and company: "The country is in your hands. Be careful with it. Treat it with respect and love. We're turning over a beautiful country to you. Take care of it. We love it."

            Not that he'll listen.

          The best response to the elections I've found is David Remnick's well-written diatribe from 2:40 this morning, when it was clear that Trump had won. He is sharp in his analysis and courageously unrelenting in his well-founded attack. He begins, "The election of Donald Trump to the Presidency is nothing less than a tragedy for the American republic, a tragedy for the Constitution, and a triumph for the forces, at home and abroad, of nativism, authoritarianism, misogyny, and racism." And he ends: "It is all a dismal picture. Late last night, as the results were coming in from the last states, a friend called me full of sadness, full of anxiety about conflict, about war. Why not leave the country? But despair is no answer. To combat authoritarianism, to call out lies, to struggle honorably and fiercely in the name of American ideals—that is what is left to do. That is all there is to do."

            Read the whole editorial: http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/an-american-tragedy-2. Read it and cry, as I did, then lift your head and refuse to give up.