The biggest news of the new year is that I'm getting married.
"What?! Diana Coogle is getting married?!"
Yes, indeed. After hiking many trails together – on Corsica, in the Italian Dolomites, in the Applegate, the Siskiyou Mountains, the Cascades –
after paddling seas and exploring foreign countries –
Mike and I think it's time we walked down the aisle together, too (picture pending). And so we have announced our engagement.
Suddenly I'm thinking about things like wedding dresses, wedding flowers, wedding dinner. I walked into a bridal shop yesterday, tentatively, a little self-consciously. The saleswoman said, "May I help you?" and I said, awkwardly, "Well, I'm getting married." She and her customers, a older woman with two younger women, looked amused. One doesn't expect a 74-year-old woman to ask for a bridal gown. Miss Habersham, trying it again.
After so many years as a single woman – proudly single, I might add; upholding the role of the happy spinster – I am suddenly joining the marrieds. "Why are you getting married?" people ask. "Why not continue as you are?" since we'll be essentially continuing as we are, living arrangements and all, anyway?
Because there is something about the public statement – "You and no other" – that is meaningful. There is something about the wedding ceremony that solidifies what we feel for each other. There is a celebration of love and a community acknowledgement that doesn't come otherwise. There are vows I want to make. And, of course, there is a grand party.
I am honored by the enthusiastic responses and congratulations of family and friends. My sisters are beside themselves with excitement. So many people have promised to come to the wedding. As for Mike and me, we are sailing in the clouds.
It is a big move for me. I'm crossing borders:
Marriage is a foreign country
which I'll enter in May.
I don't cross the border
as a refugee
fleeing loneliness and unhappiness
in my home country
or as an emigrant
leaving one country
in hopes of a better life
in the other.
I've got my passport
(the passport is love)
not a limited-stay visa
to see how I like things
but permanent residency
in the new country
promising joy
just like in the old country.
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